Five reflections after 10 years at Tearfund/Compassion

This month marks a significant milestone for me. Therefore I want to take a brief moment to slow down and celebrate what God has done. It continues to be one of the greatest privileges of my life to serves as the Creative and Communications Lead at Tearfund/Compassion New Zealand and I stand in awe and amazement that I get to do this.  

Work wise, this has been the place where I’ve grown up… I moved into this “house” a decade ago when I was 27, explored my creative gifts here, was eventually given a voice at the management table and encouraged to step up and lead in new ways here. But first let’s take a brief moment to talk about Day 1 on the job because it really does deserve a mention.

My first day at Tearfund/Compassion was in Kolkuta, India visiting a small fraction of the 2 million children in our sponsorship projects. Later that afternoon I headed to a florist in the middle of the city. I was told on arrival to ask to use the florist’s phone and to call a certain number. Then, two men would escort me to a secret location down the street so that I could learn more about Tearfund’s partners work in the city to fight sex trafficking. Seemed legit. #bestmeetingever.

That night my boss had a family emergency and had to race back to New Zealand. Before she left she looked me up and down and asked if I would be willing to go into Bangladesh in the coming days to capture some stories and images for Tearfund’ s next campaign. The next day I found myself on a flight to Dakar where I landed into a country that was mid coup and swarming with UN peacekeeping troops before being driven 8 hours into the depths of the jungle. Health and Safety/ Security Measures were a wee bit lax at Tearfund in those days.  In Bangladesh I showered with a cup and a bucket, slept in a house with no door and was the only white person most of our 30,000 beneficiaries had ever seen.

Since then I’ve had almost every immunization on the planet for every possible tropical disease. I’ve travelled to countless countries photographing, interviewing and helping write up campaigns and appeals for the people that will benefit.

A few of my most memorable moments on the job:

•         Hosting TV3 for the one-year anniversary of the Rohingya Crisis in Bangladesh. With over 1 million people living within 10 square kilometres, it was incredible to see them bring this story live to New Zealand TV screens and raise hundreds of thousands.
•          Entering into Mosul on the border of Syria and Iraq with one of Tearfund’s partners and being told to stay within 200 metres of the vehicle at all times and carry a chemical gas weapons mask with me.
•          Being tracked and chased out of Sri Lanka’s war torn North by the local FBI and having to send our photos and videos back – by post.
•          Flying into Vanuatu three days after Cyclone Pam decimated the island for the Integral Alliance whilst 9 weeks pregnant.
•         Spending 6 years of my time at Tearfund living and working out of Uganda.
•          Watching in amazement the work of Compassion to stop child slaves working on Lake Volta in Ghana.
•          Collaborating with New Zealand’s largest NGO’s on a national campaign called Live Below the Line that brought in just over a million dollars for our work to end modern slavery.
•         Helping launch New Zealand’s first Ethical Fashion Guide
•          And most recently, leading and working alongside the most incredible Creative team of passionate, crazy talented people on countless campaigns, appeals and disasters to bring desperately needed help to those that need it most.

Over the years I’ve been doing this, I’ve been genuinely scared for my life, cried buckets of tears with the people I’ve interviewed, and thanked God every time for the privilege.

There’s a quote that reads;

“Sometimes I’d like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it. But, I’m afraid he’d ask me the same question.”

I think about this quote all the time.

What has kept me doing this kind of work is primarily my faith in a God that asks us to be his hands and feet on the earth. A God that cares deeply for this heaving mess of humanity. I’ve never taken one photo, story or campaign for granted and I am prayerful as I try my hardest to preserve dignity whilst showing tremendous human need. It is one of the greatest joys of my life to offer my humble skills and watch him bring to living colour the things He holds close to his heart.

In a world full of plastic and throw away’s, in a world full of “If it doesn’t work for me, I’m out”, I find there’s something really beautiful about longevity. About sticking it out. Investing one’s life in a cause. Pouring out your life for something, for someone.

I feel like there’s a rocket on the inside of me and it burns fierce. I am deeply passionate about this work. Ann Voskamp says “Compassion isn’t merely a vague sense – but a feeling so strong it causes you to bend. It shapes your body, your whole life, into a response”. There’s nothing I would rather do. I am humbled beyond belief to be entrusted to do it.

This is what I know after ten years.

1. Those of us that have a front row seat to the devastation will one day have a front row seat to the restoration. I believe that with all my heart.
2. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, you haven’t. The longer I’m in this work the more I realize just how difficult some people have it.  I stand in awe at what the poor have to carry.
3. Just because I work for a charity doesn’t make me better than anyone else. Who do you think pays for charities to stay afloat and help people? It’s the bankers, the stockbrokers, the teachers, the doctors, the truck drivers and retail staff. Solving big global issues takes all of us.
4. God sustains this work. Not me, not my team. God.
5. I’ve never seen a situation where there was no hope. Truly, I tell you. In every country I’ve ever been to and with every story I’ve ever heard, there is always something to be hopeful for.

Under the Tearfund roof I’ve experienced things I could never have imagined in my wildest dreams. And even though I’ve been “grounded by a pandemic” these last two years, perhaps the thing I’m most proud of is the fact that during this season we’ve been building a strong foundational team from the ground up filled with young people that are going to shape this organisation moving forward. We’re growing, sharing the load and, Lord willing, soon we’ll be back out there telling the stories that need to be told.

I can’t promise I’ll work here forever. But I can tell you, no matter how long I’m here or there or everywhere, Tearfund/Compassion will always be home for me.

Onwards and upwards,
Helen

Healthy Women, Healthy World - the American women that know.how.to.fundraise!

Friends, two weeks ago I had the tremendous privilege of being the Keynote Speaker for Medical Teams International at their event - Healthy Women, Healthy World in America.

I spoke for 23 min and took the viewers of their virtual luncheon on a journey both behind the lens and behind the curtain of the work that Medical Teams does. Having seen their work first hand in action in multiple countries I took them with me on a trip to Uganda and Tanzania and told them exactly what I saw and the all important context behind it. I talked about who I met and did my honest best to show the realities of the absolute rollercoaster the Medical Teams doctors, nurses and staff get on every single day. 

The best part of this entire luncheon? That in 24 hours after this airing we raised USD $249,000 for Mamas and their little ones. 

What. An. Honour.

This once a year event is largely run by a group of incredibly passionate women who have been to the field with Medical Teams, loved it, come back and gathered the troops (200-450 women) in Oregon and Seattle for a luncheon that packs a serious punch. I was beyond impressed by them and the Medical Teams staff that put the event on without a hitch! 

If you'd like to watch my section, forward to 21:28 and press play below!

Love to you all!

h. 

How are we really doing one year on? Here’s the Good, the Hard and The Ugly.

Many of you have so kindly been asking us how we’ve been going. How we’ve transitioned and if we’ve settled into NZ yet? So here’s my very honest, very vulnerable assessment of just that.

Of course, I could give you surface level. And tell you about how I’m so far behind on technology it’s not even funny. I’ve missed out on 6 years of technological advancements -  and it shows.  What on earth is Microsoft Teams, Planner and Snapchat? Don’t tell my work but I literally don’t even know where to save anything so I just save it to my desktop. Pretty sure that’s really bad and not allowed but I’m too scared to tell the IT Department.

Since when were Instagram stories more popular than Instagram and why is all my text right aligned and how do I add music to videos and why is it so hard for me to learn this stuff? I cannot.even.deal. Also, I have no idea what to wear anymore. I used to pride myself in my “fashion sense”. Not anymore folks, not anymore. I have officially lost touch. My friends pretend not to be embarrassed when around me. Oh and training the kids to be more civilised has been a real up- hill battle. They eat food off the floor, wipe their nose with their shirt, dress in whatever the heck they want and don’t even get me started on the mall. Let’s just say they do not know the correct “protocol” and call the escalators “magical stairs”.

It’s also been weird getting used to being “on time” again. I’m so used to showing up to things late (as that’s on time in Uganda). It’s been my excuse for about a year now and I think it’s reaching its shelf life. Pshh.

How are we really doing one year on? Here’s the Good, the Hard and The Ugly.

The Good:

It is so wonderful to be back. I’m really happy we are here. It feels right. Who knew when we left that a global pandemic would sweep the world a mere three months later? Being back with our families is everything I hoped it would be. Reconnecting with my brothers has been especially sweet. Spending time with old friends and meeting new ones is amazing. In fact, I’d say in the last two months it feels like we’re finally hitting our stride. We’re getting to know who our people are, we’ve worked out where to get the things we need, we’re starting to make new traditions and we are truly loving New Zealand.

The Hard:

1) My kids haven’t grown up here. Instead their childhood quirks and experiences are sacredly stored amongst many missionary/expat women now (mainly thanks to Covid) scattered all over the globe. This makes me eternally grateful and also sometimes deeply sad. I wish I had that shared history and those inside jokes with my friends here. And I wish those Mamas lived in New Zealand too.

2) Speaking of friendship: This year I’ve grieved the loss of the incredibly close community I had in Uganda. Moving back, some friendships here are deeper than ever, others have moved on and that’s ok. Some of the drift is us. I know that. We’ve changed and lived away for 6 years! God has been so kind in bringing incredible new friends to us too!

3) Both of us have been used to living in a constant state of adrenalin. Coming down off the ‘high’ of living on that level has been something to get used to. That daily life adventure of stress and excitement all rolled into one is (for the most part) gone for now. Doing 30 trips a year between us is off the radar for the foreseeable. And we miss it. I think because we haven’t been travelling and we’re not used to the quiet life, much less the lockdown life, we’ve tried throwing ourselves full steam into projects, even crazy projects to make us feel normal because chaos was our normal! That’s probably not been very healthy.

4) Not being surrounded by Ugandans. We miss it ever so much. And I’m acutely aware of not wanting my children to be the only brown faces in the room. I hate it that we’ve taken them from a majority culture to a minority one. I spend a lot of my time trying to work out how to mitigate that from everything to where we go to school to where we live and who we hang out with.

5) I still have a scarcity mentality and I can’t shake it. Especially with shopping and food. Despite the fact that I live in the land of plenty, I still find myself not trusting stock levels and things to be available. I am hyper vigilant and insanely organised with food and birthdays and backstock for all things from Father’s Day cards to shampoo. This is a blessing and a curse.

The Ugly:

A few weeks back we did a two day debrief with a trained therapist who debriefs people that have lived in challenging environments and been witness to hard things. Out of this, one of the many things that came up was loss. And I realised that if I’m honest, a big part of my identity was wrapped up in living and working in Uganda. Now that we are here, I feel like I’ve lost 49% of myself. And that’s a big chunk.

During the debrief I felt like I was being asked to let go. To put a full stop on that chapter of our lives and turn the page.  I kept getting the strong sense that God was trying to do a new thing and I kept trying to fit my old life into my new life. So I picked up a shell from the beach, told it what it symbolised to me and together we threw it into the ocean. Closing this beautiful chapter and turning the page to a promising new one.

And then I was reminded; whenever I’m on the field about to do a shoot I always pray, “God, show me where you are here. Show me what you’re up to. I need to find you here.” That’s my new prayer for now too.  Maybe it can be yours for 2021 as well?

 Love, Helen 

 

An interview I did recently with the team at We are Human As

Hey friends! I’m so excited to share with you an interview I did with the beautiful team at We are Human As. In this interview I share a little bit about our adoption journey, my job as a humanitarian photographer and storyteller and three photos that are really meaningful to me. Photos taken on the field for Tearfund, Compassion, Medical Teams International and World Vision. There are a few tears at the end but I know you’ll understand why.. Love to hear your thoughts - please do comment below! Watch the full interview here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsZQ8MkYY3E&t=3s

Much love to you all! Xo

The surprise Mothers Day photoshoot we did last week!

Hey friends!

It was such an honour to be a part of this years Mothers Day campaign for Saben - New Zealand’s premium leather handbag and accessories label. 

Below are a few photos from the shoot but here is a link to the full blog on their site.

xo

A love letter to Uganda

 Dear Uganda, 

Ten years ago, Tim and I touched down for the very first time here in The Pearl of Africa. We were wide-eyed, excited, naïve, ready to learn and keen to experience all your beautiful country had to offer. After an initial 5 month volunteer stint we headed back to New Zealand promising to each other that we’d come back to live in 3 years’ time. We moved here indefinitely in January 2014 and have been here ever since. In a couple of days, we’ll be leaving to move back to New Zealand. I want, and, quite frankly, need, to process some of those feelings with you.

If I’m honest, I’d tell you that before I moved to Uganda I thought I would be “giving up a lot”. Missionary/aid worker style. “Sacrificing” a lot. And in some ways I was. But in most ways I wasn’t.

I thought I was giving up my lovely house in New Zealand. Instead, you and God gave us the best house we could ever have wished for complete with a huge yard – perfect for our growing brood of children. Speaking of children, I thought I was giving up my chance to have children. And yet literally weeks after arriving in country our paths intersected with the most precious little girl who went on to become our daughter. Later on a son followed.  I thought I was giving up my dream job and yet somehow the jobs we both have right now are the best thing ever. We thought we were giving up a wonderful group of friends that deeply cared about us and had known us decades. Instead, we found  those relationships continued to grow albeit across the oceans! And an equally special group of friends came into our lives and walked side by side with us through our toughest seasons yet.  

We thought we were giving up our families. And that one, we were. For the last six years our families have patiently and graciously waited on the sidelines watching through Facebook and Facetime and once yearly visits to see their grandchildren and us in the same room. 

I thought I was giving up shopping. And I was. But, instead I found ways to “manage”. Working with local artisans to create beautiful goods, getting down on my hands and knees to rummage through second hand piles at the downtown markets, going to Dubai once a year to get my “fix” and being a regular at expat garage sales. Best yet though was realising that simplicity and minimalism are my new MO (modus operandi) and I don’t need that stuff to make me happy.  In saying that, I’m really looking forward to hitting up Kmart when I’m back in NZ. Hey, I’m being honest, right?

Of course there’s been challenging times too. The rat in my bed wrapped around Eva’s head drinking milk that had fallen onto the foam mattress. The countless snakes. The police that pull us over looking for bribes. Getting pneumonia and malaria. The power company we have on speed dial because EVERY. SINGLE. DANG. WEEK there’s an issue. The water company that constantly likes to turn off water when we have large numbers of people over for a party. The burglars that stole from us. The people that scammed us. The lies we’ve been told. Immigration dramas, roads that put your neck out they’re so bumpy and pollution levels so high its dangerous to go outside.  You’ve legit driven me crazy sometimes. Often times.

But all of that is NOTHING in comparison to what you’ve given  me.  My babies. My incredible friends. The grandmother to my children, (Jane, our househelper), Opportunities to serve people in big and small ways.  The best Indian (ironic, I know) food in the world. A community of people we absolutely adore.

Uganda, (and I’m crying now), thank you. Thank you for giving me some of the best years of my life to date. You are the reason I became a Mother. There is nothing I can do to repay you for that. All three of my children have danced on your soil and grown up under your sun and leant to walk and talk on the mis-matched tiled floors of this beautiful home. 

In just a few short days the time will come to put a full stop on our time here. Our son, Maz needs to have a significant heart operation and we know just the place to help – New Zealand. It’ll be the tenth time I’ve moved internationally and the 11^th time Tim has. We’re ready to put down some roots for a while.

But we’ll be back to visit I promise.  Tim’s here for a work visit twice next year and I’ll be touching down again around May.  We hope to bring the kids back in a few years too. Because there’s nowhere quite like Uganda. Nowhere.

With all our love and affection,
Tim, Helen, Hope, Eva and Maz