Back to #ugandababyuganda

In a few weeks we’ll be boarding a plane to Uganda for our third and longest stretch with our two daughters in tow, Hope who is a shade under two and Eva at 3 months. Needless to say we won’t be the most popular passengers on board...

This is not a decision we have come to lightly. It has been fantastic to be living so close to both sides of our family this last year. Hope has been spoiled as the first grandchild on the Buckley side and has loved spending time with her 9 cousins on the Manson side. We’ve just had a brand new baby and life is finally settling down after a tumultuous start to the year. Both of us are so grateful for our lives in New Zealand with very close friends, incredibly satisfying jobs and a lovely home.

SO, WHY?
A number of interwoven reasons.
In short, we both know our time in Uganda isn’t over yet and God seems to be confirming that.

As many of you know, when we moved to Uganda in early 2010 God surprised us with the gift of a daughter! Hope is now almost two years old and so on a purely practical ‘must –do’ level,  by heading back to Uganda we are hoping to complete the full adoption process and then proceed to applying for New Zealand citizenship for her. It is important to us (and to NZ immigration) to obey the adoption laws of Uganda. This process is a challenging and complex one but we are committed to our daughter and committed to seeing it through.

The other reason we are heading back to Uganda is on a slightly deeper level - to continue our working relationship with Tutapona. In 2014 we both volunteered for Tutapona. After seeing their work first hand we feel very motivated to be involved again – this time in a more formal capacity.

WHERE WILL YOU BE?
This time we’ll be based in Uganda’s capital city (Kampala) instead of the smaller city of Mbarara where we lived in 2014.

WHAT WILL YOU DO?
Tim will be working to support and manage Tutapona’s staff as they bring trauma counselling services to refugees at various sites around the country. Helen will be coming off maternity leave and assisting Tutapona with their marketing needs as well as conitnuing to workwith her beloved Tearfund/Compassion as a Communications contractor.

HOW LONG WILL YOU BE THERE?

Two years at this stage.

We’ll endeavour to keep you updated through this blog.

Here’s to the best plane ride ever.
#not

Tim, Helen, Hope, Eva 

Behind the Scenes...

Recently I had the privilege of travelling with Tutapona up into North Uganda on the border of South Sudan. There, Tutapona is working alongside the UN, LWF and Samaritans Purse to bring healing and hope to the 92,000 refugees that currently call the camp home. When the war in South Sudan broke out in early December 2013 thousands fled to Adjumani. Tim and I arrived there about a month after the conflict had erupted and walked into a scene that looked like the movie Blood Diamond. Almost one year on, I went back to see how things have progressed and to hear the testimonies of those receiving trauma counselling. This is what I saw this time around.

Adjumani Food Gathering area BEFORE

Adjumani Food Gathering area AFTER

Arrival area BEFORE

Arrival area AFTER

Adjumani Reception Center BEFORE

Adjumani Reception Center AFTER

South Sudanese refugees listen to the Tutapona staff running 'Empower'  - a trauma counselling program for victims of war

South Sudanese refugees listen to the Tutapona staff running 'Empower'  - a trauma counselling program for victims of war

"My name is Sophie and I don’t know how old I am. I think I am around 60 or 70. I am from South Sudan. I’ve seen a lot in my life. I have lived through two wars, I’ve seen people been killed solely based on their ethnic background, I’ve seen people starving and crying every day. Hunger, sickness and the effects of war on children with no parents.

 Our livelihood was based on cows and I had cattle.  It was a good life for me as I could cultivate using my hands. However this was all taken by the bandits and raiders after they shot me in late 2013. My husband was also killed in 2012 from the rebels when they came to our village. This hurt me deeply as I no longer had anybody near me.

After I was shot I moved onto my knees and went into a hiding place in the bush. It was disturbing to see a lot of people on the ground and people so confused by what had just happened. I had three children at that time but one died.  I moved to this refugee settlement in March 2014.

For me, trauma is a past event like the death of your husband or children. Personally I thought about  suicide but that lessened after Tutapona came. What Tutapona is doing for us is helping us to have emotional strength and to be able to forgive those who hurt us. I have allowed in my heart to forgive those that hurt me. The program started by asking our personal stories, then after that it went on to tell us what is trauma and then they taught us different ways of overcoming it.  The Tutapona team taught us is it best to divert attention by doing things like playing cards with friends. It is a worthy program. If there is a way to support this program, I advocate for it to be supported to reach more people.

Since Tutapona came to us I’ve noticed a difference. We were so depressed and we felt so heavy. Personally after the program I felt light and free. Before the program I was feeling lonely, and after that I felt comforted. Too many people like me exist and they need the same help. If the Tutapona team can come back a lot of people are still in need of that. I would like to tell the people of the world to extend their hand to those that are suffering. 

You can donate to the work that Tutapona does by visiting www.tutapona.com

A $50 donation will enable someone like Sophie to go through a trauma counselling course.

Love,

Helen xo

End of year Update from the Mansons

Dear blog readers,

We hope you have some exciting plans for the holiday season.

We'll be spending Christmas at our 'home' here in Uganda before heading to our other 'home', New Zealand for some time.

Thank you for being interested in what we’re doing over here and for praying for us this past year. We both think the year has been a success and that our time here with Tutapona has been worthwhile. We have felt so privileged to be part of an organisation that is helping psychologically traumatised people heal from their pasts and regain hope for the future. The scale of the organisation has more than doubled since January, largely because of two new partnerships we've entered into. We’ve gone from 6 staff to 18 staff in 1 year!  About 5,000 people have been through our trauma counselling program across the four locations. These attendees have come from some of the most brutal conflicts in modern history such as the ongoing wars in the DRC and South Sudan and past conflicts in Rwanda (1994) and Northern Uganda (1987-2007). We look forward to seeing how God will strengthen the bonds we have with this organisation in the years to come!

Helen has also had the privilege of continuing her relationship with her beloved TEAR Fund/Compassion and has been to South Africa and Ethiopia for them on photography trips as well as working with them on projects throughout the year as a contractor. 

Of course thrown into the mix has been the arrival of our beautiful daughter Hope and we couldn't be more grateful for her. She has turned a busy year into a chaotic one but we wouldn't have it any other way. Trying to adopt in a third world country has been the biggest challenge we've faced in our lives to date and we are beyond excited to introduce her to you when we get back. The full process is a three year one and one that we are absolutely committed to seeing through to it's final completion here in Uganda. 

Once again, thank you so much for caring about us and being part of Tutapona’s work in helping some of the world’s most traumatised people.

Love Tim, Helen and Hope

Why missionaries can never go home again...

Read this blog the other day - it resonated well.

Refugee boys watch the sun set whilst flying kites together in Nakivale Refugee Settlement

When a new missionary first gets to the mission field, it is obvious where home is. 

“My name is Beatrice and I am 22 years old. One night when I was five years old my five siblings and parents were killed inside our house in Burundi as I hid under the bed. In the morning the rebels heard I was still alive and came searching for me. I ran to a banana plantation and the people paid the rebels a goat so they wouldn’t kill me. I remember so clearly running away into the bush and finding my Uncle’s dead body being eaten by dogs. A lady helped me hide in the bush for a week. We dug a pit and buried ourselves in soil with just enough air to breathe. After a week went to a refugee camp where I was handed over to a woman who made me suffer by not giving me food like the other children. In 2003 I fled to Rwanda and spent three years there in a refugee camp until they kicked us out in 2006 and I came to Uganda. I arrived here when I was 17 and faced ethnic violence threats. People told me that I would be killed because I come from a certain tribe that had testified against the rebels and so I went to see the camp commander and he gave me a small house and guards to protect me for 8 months.  One day I was poisoned and had to spend a couple weeks in hospital. As I was heading back to the camp I was raped. Shortly after I gave birth to the baby I started to feel like my problems were too high and I abandoned that child. But as I went back home my heart thought of that baby and I went back and picked her up.  A few years later I was co-erced into marrying a man and becoming his second wife. While I was in hospital giving birth to my second child I missed an important interview for resettlement overseas.  I don’t think I have any hopes for the future. The moment you brought your Tutapona program it started scratching my wound and it became fresh again. I have trusted many people and they have all disappointed me. I am a Christian but I hate people so much I struggle to even greet them. I love my children but I am unable to plan for their future because I have nothing.”

Sadly, our program doesn’t work for every person, every time. We believe that the Bible teaches that some are called to plant the seed, others to water and others to harvest. In this case our prayer is for the seed planted to one day bear great fruit. Until then, pray with us for her!

10 Fascinating Insights into raising 6 children in 6 very different countries.

Have you ever wondered what it might be like to raise a child in Asia, The Middle East, Europe, Africa, The Pacific or America?
I have.
So that's why I decided to interview six incredible mothers from six very different countries to gain a fascinating insight into that very question.
For comparison sake I've chosen to interview young mothers with young girls.

Do we have similar joys? Similar struggles?
You decide. 

COUNTRY/ QUESTIONS	The Pacific	Africa	Middle East	North America	Asia	Europe
Who and Where	Sarah & Aubrey (1) Australia	Ruth & Aubriel (1) Uganda	Kristen & Ava (4) Dubai	Natalie & Sophie (1) California	Jenny & her  girls Hong Kong	Camilla &  Katia (5) Paris
As a mother I'm.	Calm Unstructured Affectionate	Loving Happy Gentle	Nurturing Loving Hands-on creative	Deliberate Flexible Playful	Loving Strict Flexible	Easy going Playful Devoted
My child is...	Joyous Calm Adventurous	Fast Content Adventurous	Compassionate Caring Imaginative	Happy Aware Determined	Active Positive Kind	Energetic Sociable Sensitive
Describe an average day	It's Groundhog Day everyday- but would I change it? Nope! It's full of fun/cuddles/kisses/food/play and watching Aubrey learn new things.	Up at 7am and at work by 8:30am as a househelper. My daughter comes with me every day to work as I cook, clean and wash for an American family. At 5pm we go home and I bathe her, do some washing and cook dinner. I finish off the day by reading my Bible and go to sleep at about 8:30pm.	Bright early mornings (Ava still wakes with the sunrise mosque calls) getting ready for school routines. My husband or I then walk with her to class as we are both teachers at her school. We both work all day and then come home to make dinner as a family, "play house", go to the grocery store or go to the beach. We might do arts and crafts and finish off with her night time routine of bath, books, a show, and Jon and I singing Ava to sleep! Then we usually have an hour to hang out as a couple, watch a show etc and off to bed until the next bright early morning!	Eat, explore, sleep, repeat. I keep her fed and I (try to) keep her out of mischief! If the weather is nice, we go for a walk before dinner.	Up early to prepare breakfast and a lunch box for them before they jump on the school bus. I do sports, housework and enjoy time with friends until they finish school.	Drop daughter off at school, go to work, pick daughter up from after school care, cook dinner, put daughter to bed, do odd jobs then study/relax in front of TV/ with a book. Weekends are usually taken up with birthday parties, cleaning, shopping and church. If we have the time and energy we'll also try to catch up with friends.
Something unique about where your child lives?	Even though we live in the sububs we can often smell and see the smoke from the bushfires.	In Uganda we see goats and guns every day. We don't have malls or good roads. We live a simple life but we are happy. We watch TV rarely.	In Dubai we really only have one season - and that is hot and sunny. The older Ava gets the more she's realizing it's just not like her cousins/ grandparents. She loves the Skype dates where she can see the snow at Grammas.	In California, kids can play outside every day, here, because we have such sunny weather year-round.	Here in HongKong it is very international. We have the opportunity to make lots of different choices about our lifestyle.	Kids start school very young (between 2.5 and 3.5), but school can be interrupted or cancelled at any time because of the french love of industrial action. Having to deal with kids in an apartment during long wet winters is not ideal.
Biggest challenge each day?	I have made a challenge for myself everyday. When Aubrey was about 3mths I found myself just being "complacent" about being a stay at home mum and "forgot" what a privilege that is.. So I challenged myself to find "Joy" in EVERYday- whether that be Aubrey smiling, learning something new, getting her to sleep quickly or having fun playing!	I'm a single mother raising a 1 year old. Each day I have to take her to work and if she is sick or fussy or crawling around that can jeapordise how well I do my job and that stresses me out. I feel guilty about that.	Wanting to know that I'm doing a good job, being a good mom. Making sure I'm making the right choices for my family.	I find it a challenge to not be too hard on myself and the decisions I make for my family. It's a lot of responsibility!	My children are always doing the same mistakes everyday, even after I tell them lots of times. I need a lot of patience.	Finding the time and energy every day to be the mum I want to be (especially at the moment being pregnant as well). I definitely don't always manage!
Best thing about being a Mum?	Knowing that Aubrey is a piece of my husband and I is a miracle! Learning more about myself as a person and and my abilities to deal with things and getting big sloppy kisses all the time!	Having company all the time	That feeling you get when your child gives you the biggest hug, smile, acknowledgment- and you know that the unconditional love you have is shared.	Discovering the world with her. It is more vibrant and colorful than I remember, and much more exciting.	Growing and learning with them together. I am like a big sister.	My daughter! Watching her budding personality and her discovery of the world.
The one thing that's surprised you about motherhood?	I'm surprised that motherhood can be quite "lonely" at times- and I think we as mothers don't like to talk about this (when really we should!) cause we don't want to seem "incapable" or less than strong. Also, I was so afraid becoming a mum would change (in a negative way) my relationship with my husband. It has changed in that we can't just drop everything to go on a date or we don't have as much alone time, BUT we have become creative in finding special moments during the day or once Aubrey is asleep to enrich our relationship just that bit more!	My day to day life completely changed. Before when I wanted to go out I would just take my purse and go. Now I have to take a big bag  - and its all full of her stuff!	That as a mom you really do adapt and change and the things you thought you would do aren't always the way that works for you and your family...and that's ok!	If you thought you were flexible before, you weren't.	I know that my children can feel my love now. They are also at an age where they appreciate what I do for them.	I think that before becoming a parent we have a lot of ideas about how we will raise our children, the boundaries we'll set etc. I was surprised by how much my ideas of parenting changed when I had to actually do it myself.
Best thing about growing up in your country?	She has every opportunity to develop into a strong, passionate, inclusive and educated woman- where women are seen as overall equal to men. She also gets to grow up in a stunning country too! She has great communities, schools, healthcare etc at her fingertips.	This is her motherland, she gets to know her culture and her people. She speaks two languages as both English and the local language are readily spoken. And she has a rich culture to be proud of.	The multi-cultural lifestyle she gets to experience everyday. Her friends, our friends, her teachers - she gets to interact with people from all over the world. I think she is so fortunate to be exposed to so much so little. Ava at 3 has already been on over 30 flights and visited 5 countries!	In America my daughter has access to endless opportunity	In Hong Kong everything is very convenient. They can learn different languages and different instruments easily here.	We live in the outskirts of Paris in an incredibly multicultural area. My daughter is of mixed race and I love how colour-blind she and all her friends are. I hope that she'll be able to find out who she is as a person before she has to worry about the labels others might put on her. (Having the chance to learn another language is also an advantage:)
Favourite quote about motherhood	"You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow, they will be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift, breathe and notice, smell and touch them; study their faces and little feet and pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today Mama, it will be over before you know it" Jen Hatmaker	"When you have a child you cannot ever really die for you will never be forgotten" African proverb	The best advice I have received was not in words but in actions. My mother was and is still the this day the best role model there is. I would love for Ava to grow up feeling as loved as I did.	"The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep! I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep." - Ruth Hulburt Hamilton	n/a	n/a
Best advice you've ever recieved?	"Do what works for you and your baby". "Know that you are raising up the next generation and what a privilege that is!". "You can only do what you can do", "Trust your mama instinct!"	"Raise a child God's way. Dont make her do what you want her to do or what you want others to see her doing."	"Strive everyday to be caring, and nurturing, crafty and creative, and to open your doors to as many people and opportunities as you can."	"You set the schedule, not baby. Baby will follow your lead."	"As mothers we all need our own free social time." Also, "Consider the fact that you are also growing with your children."	"Do whatever allows you to get the most sleep!"